Yesterday I watched as two of our friends said goodbye to their 12 year old son after a two year battle with cancer. Over the last couple of years he had a brain tumor that just would not go away, and he went to be with Jesus Saturday.
I can't imagine what this family must be feeling. Even knowing that his pain is gone and he is with Jesus right now.......I can't imagine. As we made our way to the family and expressed our condolences, the mom looked at me and said go home and hug your kids.
I looked at Beaux last night when we got home as he was sleeping and teared up. I never want to feel the pain our friends are feeling right now. There were hundreds of people at the memorial service, all saddened at the loss of this courageous little boy. The one thing we all had in common......there is nothing we can do to ease their pain.
As I watched my daughters drive off to school this morning, and then dropped Beaux off at school. I thought....there are so many times that I have no power to protect them. So many times when I surrender my ability to control and allow them to make choices that could impact so many lives. So many things that could happen that are out of my hands. I don't like that feeling.
As my kids grow and begin to make more and more decisions, and I pray that the things we have taught them have taken root, and that they are listening to God for direction and guidance, they teach me more and more about God's love for us. He had the ability to stop His son's suffering and yet he didn't. He had the ability to put an end to his pain....yet he didn't. He had the ability to sustain his life and punish all that harmed him......and yet, he didn't. He died.....for me.....and for you. As jacked up as we are, and as much as we go against the very reasons we were created......still He loves.
There is no one that I would give up my kids lives for, and yet there are things I can't control that could take them from me in the blink of an eye. I did hug my kids yesterday, and this morning...and will do so again today, and in the weeks and years to come.
I'm out......
